“If my world were to cave in tomorrow, I would look back on all the pleasures, excitements and worthwhilenesses I have been lucky enough to have had. Not the sadness, not my miscarriages or my father leaving home, but the joy of everything else. It will have been enough.” Audrey Hepburnhttp://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.co.uk/ As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I have lost two dogs over the last three years, and had three at one time. I still have my little dog, who is 12 this year. Since my old dog passed this year, I have wondered whether or not to get another dog. She has the company of my Mothers dog during the day and me all to herself in the evenings, and so part of me feels she should live out her days like this. I have always had a love of German shepherds since rebel in Champion the wonder horse when I was a tiny child. My Step Aunt had six when I was young and I loved it when they were pups. I have always had dogs, and know these dogs are big, powerful and need a strong alpha owner and would like one of these dogs as an assistant/dog for the disabled dog, but at this time it is still just a thought. Update on the dating site part: I am still in touch with my 33yr old friend to my mind and I have now exchanged mobile numbers. I never put all my eggs in one basket, and guess I am a bit of a multi dater in that respect, but I am secretly keeping my fingers crossed for this one. I often get messages from a man who is a fellow wheelchair user, and at first he sent me messages hoping id jump on the bandwagon that it`s `them and us`. He thought every rejection was due to his disability and told them so, a real chip on his shoulder. Today I ended up sending him this message: ” I hate to say this, but Id not be honest if I don`t. I have had a few say they have a problem with the wheelchair, but mostly the people who contact me are more attracted to me as the person I am. I think it is your own attitude and how you come over as a `disabled person` that puts people off. You are defensive, almost apologetic about being disabled and you wait for rejection on the grounds that you are disabled. It is YOU that has the biggest problem with your disability and that is the biggest turn off of all! I know that i`ve been hard on you but I tell it how i see it and from the messages you have sent me it is glaringly obvious that is what is happening. You need to start seeing yourself as a person that happens to be in a wheelchair rather than a disability.” He has replied and asked me to help him, though I`m not sure how I am meant to do that, but I think it needs to come from within himself to be honest. I know from talking to many able-bodied men on the site that they too get rejected for all sorts of reasons, such as looks, weight, bank balance or some other obscure reason; People use dating sites like shop on-line stores and only want perfection that fits their ideals and lifestyle. My car has been off and returned with a lock plate placed underneath my new wheelchair, from which I drive from, and made to fit in my cars floor. So now i`ll need to swallow my anxieties and get back behind the wheel and practice and finally do my test. It`s been a while since I sat behind my cars wheel due to illness, a fractured leg, loss of my old wheelchair after it finally gave up the ghost and before all that depression, so I`ll need to start from scratch but I hope the break will have made it more enjoyable this time round. So wish me luck!