All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately rehearsed.

As Autumn fast approaches, as does the blustery winds of life, the swirling colours of change amongst my confusion and the fall of resignation.

My adult, yet still teenage Son, made the decision to leave education and look for a job. To most people this would not be too drastic on the home front, but as I am fed, clothed and homed by the government and with never having had any financial help from his Father or had nothing from my last marriage,  it has been a hefty blow to our financial situation at home. My Son signed on to job seekers and sought their help in finding a job, and from the moment he put this in writing I lost the sum of £177.30, whilst my Son still waits to get any money.

I realised I would lose Child benefit and had already taken that into account. I had not taken into account that the severe disablement premium would be taken from the income support and thus given to my Son under the guise of carers.  I find it immoral that the child I raised alone and without a carer, should now feel responsible for my care, or I be made to feel that I have gone down in his estimation or mine. As any Mother of a young adult will know, we still cook, shop, do their washing and help them organize themselves and support them and in no way has our roles reversed just because he has left education!  

My Son is finding the adult world frustrating, as he realises that nothing is done instantly, phone calls, meetings, money, jobs, buses or parents, it`s all a waiting game until all questions ar answered, paperwork done and satisfaction guaranteed. When it all gets too much, he and his friends in similar situations, will return to their group of adolescence and play games, laugh at films and get drunk on occasions, whilst feeling that us parents know nothing at all and they everything, and all we do is nag them!

So, I have been wracking my brain on how we will get around our financial problems, as already my bank account is screaming under it`s overdraft facility. Firstly I have rung motability to return the car, and the money recovered from that monthly will make a difference. Sadly, I will never get another grant as my contract wasn`t up for another two years. However I could never afford the £60-70 diesel now anyway.   I have lived in my present home over five years and had just started to work out plans to decorate my living room and bedroom , as it was newly built and has never been painted or anything, but sadly I have had to abandon these plans, which is disappointing. It would have been a financial juggling act before, but now, not a hope.

  Family is always important to me, they swim in my blood and even though we don`t all get along, all of the time, maybe it is the Irish in me but nothing comes before them.

This week we had a scare with my toddler Nephew as he was rushed to our local hospital with breathing problems; He had woken struggling. After a night on a ward, after tests, scans and oxygen, they sent him home with steroids, inhalers and antibiotics, for a chest infection bought on after a virus. He was mostly unphased and after seeing a football bedspread on his hospital bed he told his mother: “I like this hotel.” I am just happy, as are all my Family, that he is getting better each day.

About Maith an cailin

Born in the 1960s, I`m a single Mum of a young adult. I am a full-time wheelchair user, who has been single since a marriage breakdown in 2008. I live in a UK remote village, not easy with a disability but this is a honest account of a ordinary Woman with a disability.
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