Life changes, though still manages to stay the same, and that is what this blog is about.
Since my last blog, I have now started my Psychology course with the OU and already completed a 200 word summary about Stanley Milgram who in 1961 did a mock obedience test using voltage shocks. He wanted to try to understand why ordinary people sometimes did horrendous atrocities whilst in certain authoritative situations.
Milgram summed up in the article “The Perils of Obedience” (Milgram 1974), writing:
“The legal and philosophic aspects of obedience are of enormous import, but they say very little about how most people behave in concrete situations. I set up a simple experiment at Yale University to test how much pain an ordinary citizen would inflict on another person simply because he was ordered to by an experimental scientist. Stark authority was pitted against the subjects’ [participants’] strongest moral imperatives against hurting others, and, with the subjects’ [participants’] ears ringing with the screams of the victims, authority won more often than not. The extreme willingness of adults to go to almost any lengths on the command of an authority constitutes the chief finding of the study and the fact most urgently demanding explanation.”
I am really enjoying the research, it has got me thinking, chewing things over, I want to learn more and understand the whys and wherefores and I have only just started!
I have pretty much got the hang of telephone befriending and now have three contacts to phone. It was a little nerve-wracking the first time I called each of them; Once the ice is broken, then it`s a case of getting to know each individual, their layers, their personalities, ways and from there you know how, when and how long to contact them. Some like to talk for short bursts, others chat longer because they`re lonely or some to ease their isolation. I can relate more with one or two than others, but then it`s a case of drawing on life experience to try to relate better. My most surprising but nice problem is finding the time sometimes as despite not working or going out much, I seem to fill my time!
My little Nephew is now fully recovered and back to stomping his feet when he can`t get his own way! Despite his little stay in Hospital, he seems none the worse for his ordeal and if anything I think it was worse for his parents than him, isn`t that the way with children?
Today my Eldest brother has been married thirty years, their Pearl anniversary. His wife is a year older than me and I used to get so frustrated when they first got together as he would still treat me like a child and yet I was only a year younger than his pregnant girlfriend, when you look back at the things it is funny, I was the same age as my Son is now!
Money worries dominate at the moment and my bank is almost overdrawn to the max and sleep is ruled by fear of going over my overdraft and not being able to food shop before my DLA comes into my account.
My car has been returned and gone for auction, I feel gutted but needs must and all that and my Son has an Interview for a butchery apprenticeship tomorrow. He is terribly nervous and doesn`t do well under pressure with a history of avoidance rather than facing his fears. He is very keen to do well tomorrow though, as he wants this job; I wonder if partly because his granddad recommended Butchery to him saying: “People will always eat meat!” Strange as I, his daughter is a non meat-eater, lol.
It is both our birthdays this month and also my Son and his Girlfriends fourth year together, but I feel bad as I shant be able to do the usual cake, etc for him.
Talking of cakes!
Finally after three years the ex has ticked the adultary box! Though how he can deny the walking, talking evidence that was concieved only nine months after our wedding I can`t imagine? So now I am mentally planning my divorce cake, because it is the only thing I want out of it all now!I don`t miss the calls behind her back, texts telling me he still cared or the secret visits he made me to keep me open to the idea of him returning if he needed a safety net to run to. I don`t miss him messing my head up and leaving me in limbo but despite our differences I do still miss his Son. Seven and a half years was a long time to be a third parent to a boy I had every other weekend, every christmas and every school holiday. Yes he could be a little shit at times, but he was allowed to be a little shit by a adolescent adult who was too lazy to be a proper parent!
October is also the month when we all remember our lost babies, whether by stillbirth such as my Baby Nephew Edward or by miscarriage such as my three. So on October the 15th at 7pm I shall be lighting a candle for our Angel babies.