It`s been a year since I started writing this on the 21st of last year, and though some things remain the same, life has still moved on…………………
My beloved old dog Pal, was then eighteen years old, suffering from cancer but still happy in himself and so enjoying his last christmas. He was finally put down in February and now has a red rose where he lay in the garden. I also reluctantly had to have my eighteen year old cat put to sleep after she started to suffer with epilepsy, I had her since birth.
On Boxing day I was already taking down my Christmas decorations, my life was still a tangled web with contact with the ex still continuing. He still called and visited right up until I ended it March/April after conversations with the other woman; This ended all contact with both him, her and sadly my stepson, whom Id last spoken to in February. I signed the divorce papers in August, got my decree nisi in October and my absolute December 18th, so I am now divorced and the past is the past. Though I was glad to hear from his Son this Christmas eve thanking me for his christmas card and saying he`ll ring me.
I got both new wheelchairs raised by the village where I live, both are magenta pink and both have made life a lot easier. I have had lunch with friends by going in the electric wheelchair in the warmer weather. The manual one glides through life with such little effort that life is a lot simpler, though my Nephew made me keep the old one , which he gets out at every opportunity! lol. This year has seen me break my leg in May, but not realising how broke it was despite a lot of pain for about eight weeks, I never actually had it X-rayed until November! It was then I saw that both the bone and pin were snapped and not even meeting together!
Healthwise I also suffered with tonsilitis, chest infection and depression, plus changed my asthma inhaler during the cold December weather. I believe that the dying throes of my marriage didn`t help here and so am optimistic that next year will be better.
This year saw money troubles worldwide, and I too suffered. My Son left education, which threw my financial situation, this prompted me to return my motability car and give up learning to drive, but as it straightened out my finances I don`t regret it.
I passed a counselling module with the open university and am now studying for an honours degree in psychology. I have already submitted half the course, and now have to study for the other TMAs to be submitted in May.
I now have four service users to which I voluntarily talk to on a befriending scheme by telephone. I sometimes find it difficult to find the time despite not working, but with a teenage Son job hunting, caring for my Sisters children sometimes, studying and running a home, plus my elderly mother seems to need more help as she ages it can be hard and I am often shattered by the end of the day. The country has been all red, white and blue this year, full of celebrations for the Queens jubilee, Olympics and my favourite the Paralympics. The Paralympics spurred me on to get fit and stick to it, I watched avidly each day obsessively and loved it! For the first time in my life I was proud to be disabled, but I think too much expectation was placed in overnight acceptance of disabled people in society, as that acceptance comes from our attitude as much as anything.
Early February saw us freezing in snow, then onto Mid August us gasping in a heat wave, leading us to floods around the country at the end of the year, with people having to abandon their homes at Christmas.
The end of the world was predicted by the Mayans, the date came and went unscathed for us all to live on till the next prediction.
I lunched with friends that bring mutual care and cut ties with some that left only negativity in my life.
I met my Great Neice for the first time this year, a beautiful baby and her Mum. Had visits from other family members that are a distance away now that we have all moved around. Birthdays and Christmas were all spent together with my nearest Family and again I was thoroughly spoilt!
I gave up on dating, then returned to it, but rarely bother now as it turned out to be fruitless. I never hide the fact I am a wheelchair user and this seemed to either be a turn off, attract sympathy messages, brings out those that think you must be desperate for anyone or curious questions of whether I can have sex? So far i`ve a transvestite, an adult baby, a gimp in a gas mask, a man with a DM fetish, another with a stocking fetish,Old men my parents age and a bloke asked if I am into spanking and endless offers for sex!
Yes, there have been nice men message me too, but they seem to be in the group that only exchange messages to be kind as they never go any further than the odd conversation now and then. It`s now 23:51 and 2012 is almost over and 2013 will begin. I am optimistic about 2013 as My Son was born on the 13th and the home I was happiest in was no 13 and so I see the number 13 as lucky for some, and lucky for me!