The month started off peaceful and spent caring for the younger members of my family, unwell with colds and temperatures. I felt unwell myself for a few days, hot and as though Id go down with a cold myself, thankfully not too badly. I still mustered enough energy to be creative and make things like an old `Blue Peter` episode. (Though I was more a `Magpie` fan myself.)
I attended a meeting with the people I voluntarily telephone, though mine don`t actually attend due to their personal phobias. I enjoy these meets as it gets me out a while, I like to people watch and I love quizzes, and on this one I won an Easter egg with the highest score on a quiz about pigs, lol.
My hens have began laying their eggs again and to my surprise my Duck also did for a week, cute little white/blue ones; Tasty too! It also explained their restless behavior and reluctance to go in their house at nights for the week beforehand, a hormonal female and her subservient mate!
The weather this year has been bizarre and unpredictable, with more snow. One day was quite fascinating, snow, rain, sunshine and hailstones, sometimes changing within minutes of each other. Us British love to talk about the weather but this year has been even more so!
Mothers day, 10th of March. This was a lovely day spent at Mums, with her and my Sisters Family. My Sister cooked the dinner and it was a lovely day with the boys. Mum really enjoyed it and was quite spoilt by us all.
My own boy didn`t join us as he was spending the weekend with his Girlfriend and romancing her. They did offer to buy me a Chinese take away in the evening, but I had already eaten and by this time was a little affronted that I was left to wait for my card, etc. (Stroppy parent syndrome, lol) I do believe that Family come first, maybe that is the Irish in me, and I feel that my Son should join us more. I realize he is growing up and his priorities are changing and different, but It can be disappointing as his Mum sometimes. As it was, I got my card on Monday instead of Saturday! lol It was a lovely card, well thought out and he had written some beautiful words in it of his own, and that meant more than any present ever could to me.
St Patricks Day was also tamer than usual and apart from the food, I didn`t make as much effort this year. I bought my Son some Guinness but he was still nursing a hangover from a night with his mates; on the day he was cuddled up with his girlfriend again. I made a Irish stew, buttered some wheaten bread and later had a Baileys with my Mum. I always send my Dad a gift, this year was a CD of the Furies and my Son got a Guinness tankard mug. Dads always glad to hear from me, especially as his health is deteriorating.
This month alone I have had letters asking me for £13 a week for Housing benefit and £23 a month for Council tax. Another letter telling me about the Disability living allowance changes that are due over time. I applied for Disciplinary housing payment but was turned down, soon followed by a letter sent to the local MP that id written to saying there was no exemption for disabled people. It`s a constant worry to me and as it is I don`t drink, smoke or rarely go out, but what ever the outcome I`ll get by, as I always do.
I`ve also had my letter from Stanmore Orthopedic Hospital. It was delayed in the post and I just missed the reply date, but it`s being sorted and I should get an appointment for a months time. I have to have a months notice to organize transport and to ask a friend to accompany me. My stomach does the conga every time I think about going and especially what they may suggest. In a perfect world I would like to have it done in a nearby Hospital, where I am surrounded by Friends and Family instead of almost three hours away and alone. It is a constant whirlwind in my mind sometimes of what do I want? Should I stay here or there? People assume that when you have spent your life in and out of Hospital that somehow you`re more relaxed and accepting of it, maybe some are, I don`t know. I only know that in my teens I began to become more fearful and just wanted to be left alone. Id grown up losing friends at school and seeing other children in Hospital lost on the operating table. I knew the premed preparations beforehand off by heart and each step filled me with dread. It isn’t the pain but the aneathsetic that terrifies me, being at the mercy of others whilst asleep. Since my teens I have watched the Hospital system go down hill and Nurses were no more choosing a vocation but instead a career and with it went the `Angels` tag. A Matron was like a military visit to them but now managers with clipboards replaced them with no medical knowledge. As a child our beds would be put in the center of the ward each morning and industrial carpet cleaners washed round and then the beds returned for the center to be done, infections were almost unheard of. I began to trust hospitals less and less and now Id rather remain broken that stay in one sadly.
I had a facebook message last week that came through on my mobile phone. It was from my Exs Son asking if I was free for a chat. He rang me about fifteen minutes after and we chatted for almost two hours. It was so lovely to hear from him and we laughed, chatted about my leg, studies, my life. We asked each other about people I knew and people he knew that we both know, asking how they are and what they`re doing now. He asked about my Son, whom he`d grown up with since he was five and so on and my Family and I asked about his. He told me he and his Girlfriend had split up but he wasn`t looking for another as he wants to commit to joining up next year. I skated over a mention of his Dad, as I didn`t want it to become awkward in any way. We talked about how he was getting on, his plans for the future and hopefully him visiting over Easter, which would be lovely.
I am back on a health kick after seeing a photo of myself at a birthday party, but vanity isn`t the only reason. I’ve felt and looked so tired lately, with dark rings round my eyes that are hard to hide, even with make up. I am now trying to lose weight, go to bed earlier and work out every day. My mobile is filled with reminders to do these things. My laptop has the photo as a reminder. My BMI says I am overweight and I have a Nurses appointment for blood tests for anemia and so on. I have to stick to it this time as I just don`t feel healthy at all lately. (Though I am sure the snow is not helping as again this weekend it has returned!)My last health kick went out the window when I found out how broken my leg actually was, I got down and turned to the junk food, not really the answer. I put my aim up on my Facebook private page and was a little taken a back. I know people mean well when they tell you that you look fine, etc but it is clear I am overweight and encouragement and support is what I had hoped for, even my Mother offered me biscuits! lol