Sunshine in June, logging off for now………………..

month-of-june-on-the-beach

Today is June the 2nd. The sun flits in and out between white fluffy clouds, against a beautiful blue sky. Also flitting in and out is a Blue-tit nesting nearby and as my Hens and Ducks go about their business it`s all very serene. So tell me, why do I feel edgy, alone, fidgety and fed up?

Alone

Some people suffer with SAD, I however have not always been a great fan of the Summer, especially as I have got older. Don`t get me wrong, when I was in my early twenties and lived ten minutes from the beach I was the first one there! Coconut oiled within an inch of my life in skimpy clothes and walked miles with my Spaniel, Xia on Bracklesham Bay beach.

Bracklesham bay looking west.

Before that in my teens, in Devon Id go to Budleigh salterton and other places, and loved the freedom of being young and part of a group. When I was part of a couple it meant taking the boys on holiday each year and days out in-between. Sometimes hard work with two fighting, bickering Lads but fun too and togetherness was nice.

holding-hands-on-beach-

Being single has it`s drawbacks, as often at my age most people arn`t, single that is. Friends are one half of a couple, some married and leading busy fun lives with their children, and often a second round of new children with new partners. Leaving us Bridget Jones wondering where we went wrong. bridget-jones

I don`t yet own a huge pair of knickers, not quite gone that far!

bridget-jones big knickers.

I will own up to now owning a Betty Boop Onesie, which is almost as bad but a bit more trendy, lol. Betty boop onesie

I especially find that social networking can be your greatest enemy at this time of year if you are skint, unable to get out and billy no mates! (Or at least that`s how it feels even if it`s not strictly true.)  It is lovely to see happy smiley people having beautiful holidays, surrounded by the people they love the most, and I don`t for one second begrudge them that, I am genuinely happy for them. However, it can also leave you with a gnawing sensation that life is passing by and not feeling part of it. I find that is the best time to switch off any social network, and not log on until either Autumn or life becomes kinder, easier and not always about looking forward to a sunnier day. Always looking ahead can sometimes be tiring, I wonder what`s wrong with the here and now, because I`ve worked hard enough for it? So until I`m looking out across a rolling sea, soaking in a bit of sunshine or just feel a bit more optimistic that next year isn`t going to be just the same, I`m logging off Social networks and logging into life as it is.

disabled

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About Maith an cailin

Born in the 1960s, I`m a single Mum of a young adult. I am a full-time wheelchair user, who has been single since a marriage breakdown in 2008. I live in a UK remote village, not easy with a disability but this is a honest account of a ordinary Woman with a disability.
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