Happy New year/Athbhliain faoi mhaise daoibh!
The proper behaviour all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to. ~P.J. O’Rourke.
So here we are on New years eve and feeling a real sense of optimism, despite next year bringing a big birthday, but one that I only see as mere numbers rather than a life changing event as I still feel young in myself.
2013 has been a mixed year, a year of hospital trips from my leg fracture to breathing in my sleep.
I`ve been watching my Son turn from a boy to a Man and all the ups and downs that brings.
I felt the relationship between my Sister change as we studied together, we shared something and bonded over something we had in common.
I have shared time with distant family, enjoyed the children, got to know them each and grown to love them even more, and then seen how suddenly life can change after one of them was admitted into a mental health unit. I am glad to say that they are now much better and able to manage their mental health.
With this we saw the birth of a new Prince, losses of Micheal Winner, Richard Bryers, Richard griffiths, Margaret Thatcher, Cory Monteith, Lou Reed, Peter O`Toole, Bruce Reynolds & then Ronnie Biggs, both of the `Great train robbery` during the 60s, Paul Walker, Lewis Collins, whom I had grown up watching in the `Professionals.` Seamus Heaney, one of Irelands greatest writers, Mel Smith of Alas Smith & Jones fame, Anna Wing, Bernie Nolan, Bill Pertwee, Mick McManus, who I always remember my Mum shouting at on a weekend afternoon as she loved her wrestling back then, Paul Shane, Sir David Frost, and then Nelson Mandela,`Madiba,` anti-apartheid revolutionary, politician and philanthropist. In 1962 he was convicted of conspiracy to overthrow the state and was jailed for 27 years before an international campaign helped to secure his release. I remember watching the `Free Nelson mandela` concert and bought the single by the Special A.K.A, his dedication and selflessness was an inspiration. He received more than 250 honours, including the Nobel peace prize, he changed his country and a way of thinking for so many.
I overslept and missed seeing the Winter solstice but did celebrate Yule and always enjoy this time of year for it`s meaning of letting the darkness out and the light in, new beginnings. As always, I sent out christmas cards for those I wanted to know i think of them, and this included my ex-step son. He must have received it as he sent me a FB friend request on the 12th but despite attempts to converse, I would send him messages, see him log in and out but I received no reply, and can only presume that he merely wanted to dip into my life to see what was going on in it; hurtful but half expected.. I have unfriended him, and told him why: `I will continue to send you Xmas and birthday cards but I`m unfriending you as I only want people in my life that truly want to be in it. I will always care, because I had a part in raising you and if ever you can see only that reason and not the rest of the drama then my door is forever open to you, xx` Some may ask why do I still bother but I only see a boy that is the product of his upbringing, both his parents were absent emotionally but materially gave him whatever he asked for, to me that is not parenting, things don`t comfort and bestow love, only people can do that.
I have met new and interesting people through the meetings I attend, I have helped others through my volunteer work and enjoyed days out, meals and even a Christmas meal and realised that I know so many more people now than I used to which made me feel good and optimistic for the future.
I continue to study and am now half way through my degree, I am on my fourth course and my second year and still enjoying it. My little dog is now thirteen and starting to show her age, prefering to stay quiet and avoid busy children and family parties. It was sad to watch her spend Christmas day hiding away behind the television or even sitting in the rainy dark garden to get some peace, so i`ll be leaving her at home from now on.
I have felt a sense of well being and despite not meeting the man of my dreams, I felt in control because I was the one who turned away the unsuitables, I knew what I wanted and what I wouldn`t accept, and that in itself made me feel good about myself; the fact I ended up with no-one didn`t matter to me because at least I didn`t end up with the wrong one again! So here we are, about to say slán to another year, and see in another with my closest family and I`d like to wish you all that you hope and dream for in 2014, and thank you all for reading my blog, x