Coming to town…………………..Inspiration porn.

My Son texted me Yesterday from work: “That show you watch about people with disabilities that go on dates is coming to *town!* Do you want to be on it? X” I replied, short and sweet and his reply reflects how well he knows his Ma: “lmao knew it! I just thought id let you know. lol” Disabilit 2 I don`t usually get involved in too many disability discussions, debates on rights or my disability in-particular. (I don`t even know what `type` I am in my disability) It`s not because I deny my disability, no, not in any way, I`m reminded every day in the biggest or smallest of ways while I live my life, that I`m unable to do some things. My disability is simply just a part of who I am; I don`t define myself by it, it`s just there like the colour of my eyes or whether or not I should paint my toes today. I picked out my wheelchair in the same way, it is bright and reflects my personality, and then gets personalised too. I`m aware it is the first thing that people that don`t know me see, and so lets make them smile and realise the person in it is an individual with a personality. 2012-08-24 Day out with Sheila, James & Bai. 008  However the recent sensation in the press was caused by a stunning woman called Bethany Townsend, 23, after she was persuaded by her Husband to pose in her bikini with her colostomy bags on show. Bethany had been a lifelong sufferer of Crohns disease. Bethany is now considering a return to modelling, and in the process she has made others feel brave enough to go bare with their ileostomy or colostomy bags. Now there are pictures with models and their diabetes pumps on show and so on. I love it, it`s a step forward but has the mixed bag of sympathy and Inspiration/desperation porn. BETHANY-TOWNSEND-CROHNS-DISEASE-  I admire Bethany`s courage and if I had her looks would go for it too! My first thought though was what an amazing Husband she has, he encouraged her, supported her and makes her feel beautiful, you can`t get much better than that! Read it all from her own words: bethytownsend.blogspot.co.uk Disability 2 When does Inspiration porn become Inspiration porn though? Is it after well meaning comments like “brave, totally inspirational, pure admiration, etc?”  Disabled inspiration poen I think depending on whether you are able bodied or disabled we see certain things differently, such as these pictures where disability is used to inspire positive thoughts. Disability inspire Disabled-Spotlight-Inspiration-Porn disabled try  Disabled Dad Disabled porn Author of Don’t Call Me Inspirational, the psychotherapist, painter, feminist, filmmaker, writer, and disability activist Harilyn Rousso wrote that hearing well-intentioned people tell her, “You’re so inspirational!” is patronizing, not complimentary. Disabled wheelchairfishing As a disabled person I have just got on with my life. A huge chunk of my outlook from a young age came from relatives that I saw regularly, they made in clear that not a lot was expected of me, that they felt id always live with my mother and not lead a `normal` life. One Aunt even set up a `date` with another disabled man as it was expected that disabled go with disabled, I was only about sixteen and was made to feel I should be grateful. It was embarrassing, degrading and he was older and not in the least fanciable! Disability quote Britain’s Missing Top Model was a British Reality TV modelling show for disabled women, aired on BBC Three. The premiere episode aired on 1 July 2008. The show courted controversy, with many arguing that the show made disability a spectator event. Disabled models 2 BRITAIN'S MISSING TOP MODEL I went through the usual humiliation as a teen of being asked out and then the boy walking away and laughing with his mates. It took maturity to realise that this happens to other people too, It wasn`t just because of my disability. It`s is just a silly immature prank done on people that don`t quite fit in for reasons like, being overweight, ginger hair, prominent teeth, whatever silly reason. Disability passions I married for the wrong reason in my early 20s, because I just wanted to be able to say Id married and be `normal.` When I got divorced I still felt the same sadly because he`d made me feel worthless during our time together. I felt he was embarrassed by me, it took a while to see, that he was in fact not being seen with me as he had other women on the go.  Again this wasn`t just something that happens to disabled women, it can happen to anyone! I dated again afterwards and found I enjoyed my sexual freedom and being single.Disabled anime However I grew from that experience and found myself moving on, and becoming a Mother in my late 20s and there`s nothing like becoming a parent to change your values, and nothing more `normal` than raising a child. I was miles away from my family, I was in a very difficult relationship, once again, but without any other help I had to just get on with it. My Son was my priority, and despite post natal depression, (I was too scared to tell the health visitor in case they took my Son away because I was disabled) I loved being a Mum. By the time he was five I was a single parent and alone, apart for friends Id made at Mothers and toddlers. (I have never had any carer to help me, even when I had my Son alone.) Cot I had every other weekend free, and now in my mid 30s, I felt a sudden change in myself and enjoyed being in my 30s and getting to know myself as a stronger woman, and I liked who I was at last.Disabled sex 3 People do assume that the disabled are asexual, it`s a question ive been asked many times over the internet, and one I hate to answer as it shouldn`t need to be asked. I understand why it is asked, as disabled people are not portrayed as sexual beings, which brings me back to the inspiration porn.Disabled model. Disabled model 7 Disabled model 6 Disabled model 5 Disabled model 4   Okm Kadıkoy Okm. Disabled model 3 Disabled male models Whether you are able bodied or disabled how do the pictures above make you feel? Really stop and look at them and go by your initial feeling? If you`re disabled, do you see yourself as attractive? If not are you judging yourself by societies view of disability and not your own true self? If you are able bodied, did you think ahhhhhhh bless or think how brave they are? Or am I now judging able bodied people by set standards? Disability poster Oscar Pistorious is a wonderful example, without going into the did he/didn`t he debate, he has gone from an amazing egsample of determination, a disabled role model and good looking enough to model. In an interview with the Telegraph in 2005, he posed the question: “Anyway, what is disabled?” Oscar Pistorious “I don’t see myself as disabled,” he told a journalist in 2007: a sentiment he also expressed elsewhere on numerous occasions. “There’s nothing I can’t do that able-bodied athletes can do.” Yet his court case is full of his disability and how it affects his thought processes and mobility, and sympathy is used and humiliating film of him walking without his prosthetics, etc. Wrongly or rightly i`m not sure, but I can relate to his sentiment about feeling more vulnerable when in bed without his legs, but whether his disability should be used I`m not sure. A wheelchair  In the days when AOL had instant messenger and anyone could ping you, I got talking to a devotee. Yes he creeped me out a little with questions such as `do you have callipers or crutches, had i ever wore a plaster cast? He never the less intrigued me as I just didn`t get it. I asked him outright about what he found attractive about disability as he answered: “Some like brunettes, some blonds……………..” I suddenly got it, but could never date a man that fancied my wheelchair more than me! Disabled condom I was once asked though if i`ve ever had sex in my wheelchair and I haven`t, I can`t imagine it being very practical to be honest, lolDisabled sex  Slowly, slowly things are changing though I think. More british soap operas have disabled charectars, such as: Disabled actor Eliot Rosen in Eastenders   Eliot Rosun Disabled actor Peter Mitchell, Hollyoaks Peter Mitchell disabled_actors_Cherylee_Houston_Izzy_Armstrong_Ehlers_Danlos_Syndrome-377842& Cherylee Housten. Shops such as Debenhams are using disabled models such as Shannon Murrey in it`s principles campaign alongside larger models and shorter ones. Debenhams cast wheelchair-user Though i`m still not so sure about these manakins. I have scoliosis myself and am not sure that this isn`t going a bit far, as arn`t manakins meant to be churned out with the average woman in mind, which is why shorter, larger and disabled should be considered but this is an individual. Nice idea though for acceptance. Disabled body imageNordstrom released it catalogue in July with models such as 26yr old Jillian Mercado, I personally love her hair! lol Fashion-Nordstrom Disabled Models   So will the inspiration/desperation porn die out? I doubt it. I have always tried to live my life as `normal` as can be, despite, marriage, divorce, motherhood and so on, I don`t think you ever become a fully paid up member of the community, because you will always be different.Disability Social model To those that truly know you, family, life long friends and those that love you that`s different, they `forget` as my Son tells me often.Disabled-normal-people-inspire-me-

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About Maith an cailin

Born in the 1960s, I`m a single Mum of a young adult. I am a full-time wheelchair user, who has been single since a marriage breakdown in 2008. I live in a UK remote village, not easy with a disability but this is a honest account of a ordinary Woman with a disability.
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4 Responses to Coming to town…………………..Inspiration porn.

  1. Sheila says:

    I never really think of you as disabled, you’re maithanbhean not disabled if you know what I mean. I think James thinks the same.

  2. sophie says:

    Ditto what Sheila said, i never think of you as having a disability, I often totally forget you have wheels. When Phoebe was first diagnosed I remember thinking “its not fair, she has a hidden disability, its ok for kids with downs, or in wheel chairs as people will be more tolerant and altogether more compassionate.” I used to feel so guilty for thinking this. As for the pics I admit I felt “wow thats fucking brave” but I have thought about this, and honestly feel Id think this about ANY woman, disability or not, who was prepared to post pics that go against what mainstream society brainwashes us to accept as beautiful or sexy. I wouldnt be brave enough to post a pic of “the real me” when bogged down with depression, unwashed hair and a total disregard for personal appearance. Thought provoking , good stuff. X

  3. Pingback: Pushing Limits

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