I have just been away for a couple of days, a lovely couple of days, apart from a heated desperate phonecall from my Son. I had left my home at 11:30am but my Son hadn`t realised I had actually gone until around 6pm! (I`m guessing he was hungry.)
His frantic call asking me where something was and my laptop password to access it, (I refused) and the anger and repeated calls resulted in me switching my phone off!
He is no longer a child, he will be 22 this Autumn but Is too dependant on me still, a fault I suspect is my own. I still do his washing, clearing up after him, his main meal and I typed up his CV.
It was this CV that he`d been saying for weeks he needed to add to and print out but had procrastinated for so long that I wasn`t actually home! Of course it is now MY fault and he is cave dwelling in his room to avoid breathing the same air as me I suspect; with the large amount of Chinese I bought him on my way home last night.
He was left to care for my elderly dog, but apart from overnight she remained with my elderly Mother because he `hates the rat.` One simple request/task and his immaturity shines out. I wasn`t impressed!
He`s had a tough few weeks. He and his Girlfriend went through a rough patch, his apprenticeship comes to an end and he fell out temporarily with his best mate. He never sits down to talk to me, and so I rarely know what`s going on in his life unless I overhear or someone else says something, thinking I know. I came home Monday evening to find a large box on the kitchen chair, and it looks like it`s the stuff from his desk at work, so I can only assume his apprenticeship has ended and he is now out of work.
Today, he has lay in bed most of the day and then his mate has come round to game on the XBox. I`m just hoping he doesn`t get into a pattern that turns into a rut as he has done so well in his apprenticeship. Id like to see him get a job he both enjoys and excells at for his happiness and self esteem.
Until then, as he doesn`t have the pressure of work I am going to be hands off, because he needs to learn independence and not dependants, and the goal is he also learns to appreciate his mother more!
I know I overcompensated for too many years, I wanted to make up for the hard start he had and the times Id lost through the other parents behaviour.