Our kiss caused a car crash #EndTheAwkward. Apparently it was some sort of kissing day, and so my friend Maria and her hubby Dan showed us Maria`s blog and how it all should be done! (Above)
You know that old saying that if you wait for a bus they never come, but as soon as you stop looking two or three come a long, well it`s true! *laughs*
Id long since got on with life away from the dating site, and to be honest I wasn`t too bothered. I like my own space, and though the evenings can get a bit long sometimes, it`s nothing I can`t handle.
Id joined another site, it`s not specifically for dating and I like that, I chat to men, women, anyone and can be myself. That awful pressure of people viewing you or ignoring your messages, or the replies saying ridiculous things about you being “disabled” and how they “couldn`t handle it” or my favourite line of questioning: “How do you have sex?” “Can you have sex?” and my all time fav, “Do you have sex in your wheelchair?” (I do actually get out of it sometimes, lol)
Id like to see them try, my wheels are little, that really made me giggle! lol
Anyway, so there I am on this other site, chatting away. avoiding d*** pics and full frontal perv requests in messages. Chatting away to nice people about all sorts and being my regular quirky self. I get messages from blokes who want to date but to be honest most never interest me, i`m a sapiophile and if all they can say is `u ok?` all the time I very quickly lose interest.
I had problems with one guy who very clearly has mental health issues. He swore he was in the forces, but having some insight is a great advantage to the numerous men that claim this, and I teamed up with another Lady to discover the truth as he scared me somewhat. He was just a stoner with huge mental health issues, which is sad. When someone within the first paragraph begs you to be their girlfriend, you know not all is well in their world. I still reply to his messages but more with my MH helpliner head on than friend.
I also find it fascinating the amount of disabled men that contact me. As I`ve said before I haven`t dated anyone disabled since I was 17, I don`t like the ahhhhhhhhhhh factor when you`re out together or the public perception that like should date like. (A factor I fought against with my Nan who tried to set up me up aged 16 with an older disabled cousin, just because we were both disabled!) That`s not the sole reason I don`t show an interest in them though, it is often their `disabled` attitude. The disabled friends I have are like me, we have strived to lead `normal` lives, we have 50/50 disabled/able friends, and we get off our arses to live. The men that approach me don`t have this spirit and I get irritated with their self pity, harsh as that may sound. If we can`t like ourselves, how do we expect others to?
Id left the dating site open as there was a couple of blokes that chatted as friends while they dated, (story of my life, lol) and they`d send the odd message occasionally. Anyway, one returned showing more than an interest in me when things hadn`t worked out for him, but i`ll be no-ones last resort……… Then another message came, and what can I say, he was interesting, lovely eyes and could write complete sentences! So I immediately thought, he can`t have looked at my profile with the picture of me and pinky wheels, he`s too fit to be really interested in me! lol. He seems a real star as not much seems to phase him, though having a 21yr old at home was a little shaky. (Admittedly it would me too!) So coffee together is on the cards, and who knows? I get the feeling I`ve have made a good friend if nowt else and that to me is worth it`s weight in gold! He makes me smile and that`s nice after so long…………..
As for the rest of my life:
I am now about to start two shifts on the anxiety helpline, this one is on Saturday afternoon, which may make life a little difficult, but there is always the option to change it or opt out. However as they`ve started a youth line too, they are desperate for volunteers to do this shift.
It`s going well, and the reality of how many lonely, isolated people there are out there is very grounding when you get the urge to moan. Some people feel so isolated and alone that they over think, they imagine health problems are far worse than they are and then it escalates. For others it`s life changing events that bring on anxieties/phobias that they struggle to shake off, this can range from Uni students, armed forces, to parents, to pensioners, it doesn`t care about age, gender, race, religion, sexuality; symptoms such as these, can be terrifying if you don`t understand them.
Although some calls can be very gruelling, I find the reward of people saying how much you`ve helped and how much they feel better is worth it.
My Son is still jobhunting, which can be suffocating at home as he can`t afford to go out much, but as he`s mostly in his mancave, we get by. He`s applied for a couple of jobs this week that have asked for his CV, so fingers crossed as we have fell out a couple of times already! lol
As always my friends are amazing, making sure I get out for lunch and catch ups as often as they can manage despite not living nearby anymore, that`s true friendship! xx